Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
