guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
