So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
