I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
