I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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