Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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