Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
