My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
