Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
