NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
