Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
