So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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