You can't motorboat a personality
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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