the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
