quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
