How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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