Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
