Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
