im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
