And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
