If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
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