Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
