Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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