guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
