Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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