i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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