i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
