Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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