Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
