Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
