Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
