Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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