How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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