I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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