I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
