what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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