YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
