If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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