Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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