I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
