bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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