She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
