i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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