If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
