It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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