Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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