I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
