I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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