ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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