just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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